I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The Olympian is in my bed
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
