thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Randomize
