I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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