It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
