They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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