But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
