he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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