Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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