Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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