Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize