Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize