Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
