Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
