i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
