i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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