Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You pole danced in your parka.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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