Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
