Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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