Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize