your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
