When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize