She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
