she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize