she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
