Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
