i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
