Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
