in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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