careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
