I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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