so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
