I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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