for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
