everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
false alarm. still invincible.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
