all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize