I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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