Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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