Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
