I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize