You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
