She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
