yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Randomize
