My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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