sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
