He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
