Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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