I showed him my bush... on skype.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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