I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
