Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
