I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize