Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
