I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
