You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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