People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
