grandma shit on top of the toilet
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
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