ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
