Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
