hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
