Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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