If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
