she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
