ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Randomize
