oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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