I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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